memories

without fail it always happen this way.
im really no longer able to give anymore out.
im not sure who u mean but as usual im always hoping that its me.
somehow,i think i shouldnt had visited there.
as always , coincidence came in so hard on me like it never had before.

other then blaming myself stupid ,
im not sure wad other reasons is out there.
i blame myself for asking too much.
actually , w/e.

i wont use love as an excuse for selfishness.

-as if the everything can be healed by time , less will know that time is actually the killer.
@1.32AM , 28-09 

the unsure's

it's always u.

that scents , took me long to forget.
this world are indeed unexplainable.
somehow lots of faces pass by my mind everyday
but i dunno which face will actually stay a put.
maybe the heart of my mind just require that little of thing
but i dunno why its always the little thing keep disturbing my mind.

maybe i really didnt think much for them
but when i quarrel with my parent coz of them ,
who will know it?
maybe no one knows how much i appreciate every thing that's around me.
i cant find much of them or maybe not even a single.

times and times people tell me how much they jealous of my family
but does anyone know i jealous of other's family too?
i love my family. maybe its because im starting to want to live my way.
its not that i dun have a dream. its not that i dun have the courage.
its not that i dun have a goal. its not that i dun have a plan.
its not that i didnt try to put in effort. its not that i want to waste my time.
i've big dreams but my courage had been used up.
i've big goals but my plan always seems to be disrupted.
whenever i'm trying to put in effort for something , people starts to say that i'd already wasted too much time in the past.
its not about if i really care much of wad i am in other peoples eye.
its all about the reason.
the reason for me to put my effort into something.
i alr feel that im half dead without that part ,
wads the point of putting effort in making myself a better man
when the people that are left around me , dun even have fate in me.
if i gotta let go of some friends , i'm already letting it go.
if i gotta let go of my past , i'm already letting it go.
if i still have to let go of wad i always believe in ,
wads the point of moving on?
there's time i dun find my thoughts really that childish.
people always asked me to put myself in their shoes ,
who'd really put their-self in my shoes?
people always say because that im too rich,
i'm once poor too arnt me?
why others only remember the rich and not the poor of me?
everything seems to be testing my endurance.

things or problem always sounds stupid after it's solved.
the word life always sounds much more simpler then the actual process.
at least , i'm feeling alittle better now and i appreciate things more ,
who knows?

' may i know who are you? ' LOLS! i'd turn myself into a joke.

-reality always pin me down.
@4.00AM

L.O.L.S!

seems like im really fooling myself..
i'd been using that excuse to cover my arse up..
but now since i already realized it i guess i will just continue to move on
without ignoring anything..
i just recall that appreciation is the only thing that allow me to feel better.
maybe someone says that i've lots bad habits but to me ,
i just like to be myself.
its always the same , god same thing.

after a long hibernating , i guess its time for me to get back to the right route again.
im not procrastinating anything thing , i just want to take a longer time to appreciate everything.

-life , is all about enjoyment , which starts with appreciation.
@2.05 am